Psychotherapy and Stick Figures ~ ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Cycle 16 (ANTM) Blog

This week the audience got to know the models a bit better.  Within the house there were food issues, family revelations, and the forming of patterns of which girls get along and which are prepared to fight and make good television.  I have to observe this crop of girls are kind of like browning bananas in a market’s fruit aisle – none of them are popping in terms of personality or photography.  Thus far I don’t think the photo assignment they have participated in have really helped either.  A little bit of that emo look goes a long, long way.  When the models do utter anything of interest it is done with such a flat affect that one could imagine they share the same passion for living as a gold fish…at least fish sometimes are intriguing to watch. 

 

                In some cycles ‘Top Model’ drops all of the psychological BS and lets the girls be girls, but unfortunately this cycle the producers sprang head on into what sort of bees inhabit the girls’ bonnets.  I remember when I was their collective ages and people would ask me personal questions I would answer them primarily because I didn’t know how to say, “It’s none of your business!”  Minutes later I would feel raw and slightly abused because I was angry at myself for realizing that my suffering wasn’t fodder for someone’s topic of the day.  Although I can’t speak for these young women, I cannot help but think that they may harbor the same thoughts…particularly after they watch this episode. 

 

                After a diet tidbit with Tyra and her nutritionist (they promoted the idea of ‘cheaties’, food that the girls could eat instead of something else they might want to eat – I suppose ‘cheaties’ is this cycle’s ‘smizing’) the women were whisked off to a theater where Nigel Barker (noted photographer) introduced them to an acting coach who gave them a lesson about their negative inner critic voice…then the fun began.  They were tasked with drawing a picture of their inner critic and then with the help of the ‘acting coach’ provided the group with what demons haunted their self esteem (the acting coach playing the role of inner critic – example, Random Model: “I’m not good enough.”  Him: “No, you aren’t.”).

 

        My friend, whom I will refer to as Miss Cindy, noted that there wasn’t an artist among them so all of their pictures showed the drawing capabilities of your average seven year old.  Seriously, I think some of them actually used stick figures to depict themselves and their inner critics.  Overall it was a bloodbath of tears.  Even under the best circumstances these girls are riled up emotionally with the knowledge that they might be on the cusp of fame, let alone the sensations that were still swirling after the stunt played on them in the season’s first episode, but to then force them to present what their inner critic is saying to them is one word; cruel.  Within the confines of this episode we learned that Ondrei’s two brothers had died – one from a car accident and the other murdered right before her prom.  I don’t know exactly when this cycle was filmed, but it sounded as if both events had been recent in her life.  Molly revealed that she had been adopted and had met her birth mother which made her appreciate her adoptive parents all the more, however in the back of her mind she always has a little voice telling her she isn’t wanted.  The rest of the girls cried and cried.  It was horrible to witness on many levels.

 

                Because of what they learned?  Maybe?  Their photo setup was to have a picture taken with them in dark, and sometimes light (depending on their skin tone) but always unflattering makeup with a bunch of bees while wearing jewelry coated with pheromones which attracted the bees.  You know, I will give Banks and company credit in that sometimes they do these really odd photo shoots that you think sounds stupid but some really nice pictures are the result…this wasn’t one of those times.           

 

                Although earlier I noted that none of the girls were standing out personality wise, I think Molly is in the running for being one of the more likeable girls this season.  With her status as adoptee who understands why she was given up and grateful to her parents she has an interesting back story.  She was the winner of last week’s photo but was near the end of the pack this week. 

 

                I have a problem with distinguishing between Monique and Mikaela.  I think Monique is the one that they think looks like Shalom Harlow, which she does.  If she is the one, I must say she is coming off mean spirited.  I suppose I don’t understand how it is incomprehensible for some of these girls not to understand that ‘Top Model’ is more about reality television than modeling.  You can be a God forsaken bitch as a model and most of the world wouldn’t know about it, but as contestants on a reality show it really does matter that you are likeable.  The aura of selling a product such as makeup is that you are a person that others want to be.  If you are a gossipy villainy sort than you better be good at it because witty bitches can sale things, however if you are a dullard than the combination of mean and stupid is not going to win you fans; ergo companies will not want to hire you because consumers will rightfully not want to look or smell like you.  The fact that she doesn’t seem to know this makes me think she is of the latter category.

 

                Sara is meh with me so far. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Britanni, had a decent photo.  The judges liked it.  Miss Cindy reminded me that she formally lived in a trailer park. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Nicole is paving the way to be the house psycho.  She had one of the photos that the judges adored last week, I don’t remember how they felt about this one.  She was involved in an earlier confrontation with Dayla.  She was all put out that Dayla and some others didn’t like how she had her raw chicken in a bowl sitting in some liquid with plastic wrap.  Apparently these girls are fans of Zip Lock bags.  For some reason she focused her bickering on Dayla and insisted that she knew how to cook and to store raw chicken.  She kept the conflict going which is never a good sign.  I think she does still photographs well, but lordy she isn’t much to look on film.  She has a lot of dark splotches/moles that really are too much. 

 

                Hold it for a moment!  You know what I discovered?  I mixed up Nicole with Alexandria.  Alexandria is the fash-hole, not Nicole.  Nicole actually comes off really cool.  For some reason the judges thought she photographed old, which I thought was slightly laughable.  She ended up going home though…or should I write going to the ‘home’ where I’m sure she will find someone willing to spoon fed her cheaties contained in single size pudding cups.  I’m sure she has a lengthy career ahead of her as an AARP spokes model. 

 

                Hannah has nice think wavy/curly hair and she was the one who won for best picture.  I don’t remember what had upset her, but whatever it was she started crying while on set and ended up with a photo that was unique in comparison to the rest.  Now I’m sure the rest of the gang will tear up for all the pictures in the future.  I will give Tyra credit with the lesson she teaches the girls about using what is happening.  Hannah could have simply walked off the set and tried to compose herself, instead she met the challenge head on. 

 

 

 

                Oh dear, Dominique.  I do hope that they soon do makeovers because this girl is in need of one pronto. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Alexandria is the one I think is a bitch.  Further, while Jaclyn was crying over confronting her inner critic Alexandria was laughing at her.  Nice.  She also has stupid fashion sense.  I suppose the producers will keep her around for a few episodes so the fans can hate on her and then the show will let her go to suffer through her brief brush with fame.

 

 

 

 

                Jaclyn, sweet Jaclyn…I think she might be functionally retarded.  In her dialogue with her inner critic she noted that she had a big face with a baby voice and I was happy to note that she seemed at least self aware.  During the bee shoot she reported that she is allergic to bees so why the ????was she involved in this shoot?  Someday, on some reality show someone is going to meet with something horrible fate and I only hope I’m around to write about it.  ?

 

 

 

 

                Ondrei went home on her own accord because she realized that although she thought she was strong enough to face the pressures of a modeling competition, she wasn’t strong enough yet to face the drama of pseudo psychotherapy with half wits who only want to delve into your inner demons because it makes good TV.  Thankfully the judges didn’t harass her in an attempt to make her reconsider her decision.  With Ondrei out of the picture the question became if that would be it elimination wise or if someone else wasn’t going to make it to makeovers…and as I revealed, Nicole had to pack her adult depends. 

 

                I want to take a moment and address a correction from the last ‘ANTM’ blog.  Ondrei’s name isn’t the oddest of the bunch in terms of pronunciation, it is in the spelling of her name.  God speed Ondrei. 

 

                Dalya (what is it with this season’s models and the spelling of their names?) was the one who got into a tiff with Alexandria.  Her photo was one in the bottom two.  I didn’t like her picture at all.  She had closed her eyes.  Tyra said that the picture was the best of all of hers since none with her eyes open worked.  She remains safe for another day.  I don’t think she will be around for long.

 

 

 

                Kasia is the plus size model.  I don’t remember what went down for her this week.  I’m telling you, these girls aren’t leaving we ‘Top Model’ bloggers a lot to work with.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Mikaela is the dark haired model that I always confuse with the other one.  She has memorable eyebrows but nothing else.  See comment above. 

 

                So that ends my observational trek for this week.  I don’t know if I will be able to watch the makeovers episode, but if I do I promise I will eventually get around to writing about it…then again, some of you are waiting for me to mail my Christmas cards (hint, Christmas cards will be a lot easier next year because they are already addressed!). 

 

                For more info be sure to check out the official website for ‘ANTM’.  Here is a list of my blog entries for cycle 16 thus far.

 

‘America’s Next Top Model’ Turns Sweet Sixteen ~ ‘ANTM’ Cycle 16 Blog

 

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