‘America’s Next Top Model’ Turns Sweet Sixteen ~ ‘ANTM’ Cycle 16 Blog

Last season Tyra Banks changed ‘America’s Next Top Model’ by classing it up with Italian ‘Vogue’.  It wasn’t until the debut episode of season 16 did I learn that the prize would be the same.  To be honest, I was iffy if I was going to even attempt to do another ‘ANTM’ blog, but if Banks was able to convince ‘Vogue’ Italia to go with them for a second round then I am willing to give the whole blog thing an additional whirl…although I may not be able to do it every week because occasionally I have a life. 

 

                Tyra has received a lot of grief in the past for appearing self centered as often demonstrated by doing ridiculous WTF skits for either her talk show (which I believe is now defunct) and ‘Top Model’.  Finally I am happy to report that during the first few minutes of this season she starred in a sketch that was actually funny, and dare I write, thought provoking.  Tyra, appearing funktified, I dig her new look for this season, talks about the stereotypes of the girls who usually appear on the program.  There is the blonde whose favorite designer is Hello Kitty that confesses she is willing to do anything to be America’s Next Top Model except cut her hair.  Then there is the girl from the hood (also the one sometimes pretending she’s from the hood) who says that she is on the show because she has that something extra and if you don’t believe her “look at her” – SEE she isn’t kidding.  Last, but far from least, is the girl who doesn’t know why she is auditioning for the show because she is into being an artist and she doesn’t know how to pose while she shows off that she does indeed know how to work her angles.  She says straight up that she isn’t “…a cookie cutter, I cut the cookies…and I’ll cut you.”  It was a great parody to set up the season.  My hat is tipped in your direction Ms. Banks. 

 

                Tyra and company wanted to change things up once again from the usually rigmarole so they cut out the preliminaries where the girls meet Tyra and the Jays for the first time and try to impress the panel with stories of their lives and give details of their hardships.  I have to admit that I missed this part primarily because I’m now writing my first blog of the new cycle and I really don’t know much about the contestants, which is one of the most fun things about penning a blog is that you can make observations about the girls – now I’m just left with making catty comments about the judges.  At the end of the day I can’t really come up with anything astutely observational about Erin Wasson , the guest judge, except that her face is memorable only because of her facial moles, at one time she sported an asymmetrical hair cut, and she smoked and still may.  L

 

                Like seasons before the girls were given something to indicate if they made it or didn’t make on the show (in this case an envelope that would contain a picture if they were on the show) however this time ‘Top Model’ switched it up and the girls who thought they were being sent home really weren’t.  This of course begs the question as to what in the world happened to the ones that thought they had passed through the elimination process.  Were they actors?  If they weren’t actors how were they informed that their dreams of possibly making it into a ‘Vogue’ photo spread, albeit a foreign version, wasn’t in the cards?  For some reason I picture them all falling down an elevator shaft as they hopped and skipped to what they thought was the next round for elimination.  Perhaps later on this season, when the show does that roundup episode of scenes that didn’t make the regular episodes, the producers might give those of us in the audience who wonder about such things an answer.

 

                As I mentioned earlier, Erin Wasson was the guest judge.  She had a jewelry line to promote which either wasn’t very good or she did something Tyra didn’t like because I didn’t see it featured (or maybe it was featured during that brief amount of time I switched channels – you know how that goes).  The models were tasked with walking a runway show, featuring Wasson’s jewelry designs while they were encased in huge plastic bubbles reminiscent of John Travolta’s days as ‘The Boy in the Plastic Bubble’.  In true ‘Top Model’ fashion they didn’t JUST have to walk  stomp in sideshow bubbles, but had to do so on a narrow strip of hard plastic over a water fountain (it could have been a swimming pool).  Get the laugh track type of music cued up because some of the girls fell off the gang plank into the water.  They didn’t get wet but they had to struggle like the proverbial fish out of water as they tried to get their bearing and make it back to the narrow strip in order to end their humiliation.  HA-HA! 

 

               For some inane reason there were rose pedals in the bubbles as well.

 

               The ladies were photographed by Australian lens smith Russell James backstage which is following a current fashion trend of showing what happens behind the scenes during a fashion show.  James whom I use to get all heart fluttery when he was on TV didn’t do it for me – his hair seemed a bit off which threw my fantasy into the toilet.  Side note for all men: nothing will drive women wilder than an accent derived from a current part or past satellite state of the British Empire and if this is paired with well kept longish hair along a toned body…well, the world is your oyster sort of speak.  However, there comes a point when the long hair is just kind of hanging there like Fabio on a rollercoaster or Michael Bolton’s unwillingness to admit he was balding thus holding on to his pony as if it was a lifeline.  It is at this time you have to assess if a trim will restore your luster or come to terms that your mojo is fading.  And with that I will quote Meryl Streep’s character, Miranda Priestly, in ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, “That’s all.”   

 

                Molly is 22 and got the first call out for her picture.  She is from South Carolina and was studying biology at college before she came to ‘ANTM’.  According to her show biography, her greatest fear is not getting along with the other contestants and she is most confident about her ability to produce in front of the camera. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Angelina is 20 and is originally from Germany but is currently living in Florida.  All you need to know about her is that she was the first contestant eliminated although I liked her photo. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Monique, if she is the one I’m thinking of, it is hard to tell when there wasn’t a focus on their personalities, has a eyebrows that I don’t find particularly attractive, which of course means that the judges adore her look.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Sara is this season’s Ann Ward, in fact they both hail from Texas.  She is 18 and gawky as all get out.  I didn’t like her backstage photo at all and think that she should have been one of the bottom two.  Then again what do I know since I thought Ann was hideous but grew to love her? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Britanni (I really hate that spelling!) is from Pennsylvania and the judges hated her look when she was in front of them during judging panel, but in true form I liked her photo.  She was studying international relations before joining the ‘Top Model’ cast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Nicole is a model whose looks I like, but can’t remember if she is that one model or the other.  I suppose I’ll sort it out as I’m putting the pictures together for the article.  If she’s the one I’m thinking about, then I liked her backstage photo, but the judges didn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Hannah was the model that they thought looked like Jennifer Aniston…I think.  She is also from Texas. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Dominique is from what state?  Say it with me, T-E-X-A-S.  She is black with freckles.  She has an interesting look.  I liked her photo, but you know by now if I liked it that means the judges did not.  She was in the bottom two. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Alexandria is actually from California.  She is one of the blondes of whom I can’t tell apart. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Jaclyn, comes from that T state.  She is the model I remember most because she has a baby face, but she photographs wonderfully, however on television her face looks almost too round.  She has the most annoying voice of all the contestants.  I was surprised to learn that she was 20 because the combination of her looks, voice, and actions would give one to believe that she is the youngest of the cast. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Ondrei, has the worst name of the bunch.  She is black and pretty, but past that I don’t remember anything about her.  She isn’t from Texas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Dalya is pretty.  She is from, God it kills me to write this every single time, Texas, but is currently living in California.  Don’t remember much about her either. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Kasia is this season’s plus size, something “fabulous” as Banks has taken to call larger models.  She has already worked in New York so I guess the producers have loosen the rules once prohibited prior modeling experience.  She seems okay.  Like the judges, which is rare, I wasn’t blown over by her photo. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Mikaela is the one with the weird eyebrows not Monique.  I stand corrected.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                The only other tidbit I want to add is that the model apartment is decorated with photos of Tyra when she was sixteen and modeling…get it?  Cycle 16.  Oh Tyra, you make me giggle so.     

 

                If you want to read more ‘Top Model’ goodness, check out the official website.  See you next week…or not. 

 

Westerfield © 2011